All things Bright and Beautiful

Black Friday was an amazing day for our family this year.

After doing some bargain shopping
and having a great time getting a Christmas tree with our Deur cousins

We did something we have only done twice as a family:

We got a puppy!

After much debate we named him 

Bowser

We fell fast in love with this little pup

We held him and played with him

We totally loved him.

What we didn't know then 

was that Bowser was sick

(or at least conditions were ripe for him to become sick)

As the days went on, he became sicker and weaker.

We went to the vet day after day,

gave him medicine, tried to force him to eat, and prayed for him.

But by late Friday night, he was gone.

We had him for only seven days

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Our house has a heavy feel to it right now and

I'm left with more questions than answers.  

Why now, after years of postponing getting another dog?

And why this dog?

What more could we have done?

And why didn't God answer our prayers and intervene?  

Which of course leads to a whole new list of questions that are even harder to answer, like:

Why do parents have to bury their children?

Why do young moms get terminal cancer?

Why do kids have to say goodbye to their parents, when they still need their help and support?

On and on these questions go....

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Sunday morning came and we are in the middle of Advent season.

So here's another question:

Why was the first song we sang,

"All Things Bright and Beautiful"?

Is this some kind of cruel joke God orchestrated to see how much He could make me cry?

"All things Bright a Beautiful

All creatures great and small

all things wise and wonderful--

the Lord God made them all"

 Oh, and I cried all through the service.  It was hard. 

I tried to keep it together, but was not very successful.

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So, I'm certainly not to the point where I can make any sense out of this all,

but here is something that struck me--

There is this verse in the song that I don't really remember from before:

"He gave us eyes to see them,

and lips that we might tell 

how great is God Almighty,

who has made all things well."

Knowing what I know about this world I recognize that,

 until Christ comes again, 

all living things will eventually die.

For some it is not until they are in their 90s or later

For some it is before they are born.

For most it comes somewhere between those two extremes.

But their end will come,

sooner or later.

So,

What can we do?

Well,

We can see with our eyes 

the beauty of the creation

and tell with our lips

how God made them good.

So today I'm going to tell you about

Bowser

I saw him with my own eyes

and he was
beautiful

I'm so thankful that God creates such beautiful creatures.
As hard as grief is
and as unfair as it all can be,
Can you imagine a world without such beauty?

I Want More

Do you ever have it when you start to think

"If only I had more _________"?  

Me too.

I'm feeling that way right now.

 _____________________

When I was young

I wanted more friends, more toys, more candy

And then it was more clothes, more bedroom space

More good grades, more fun, and more freedom

After getting married

I needed more household supplies

more dishes, more towels, more pots and more pans

And then I noticed that to store them I needed

more closets, more drawers, more space

a bigger house

And then I wanted more people

(more little people, that is)

Of course more money always comes in handy to pay for it all

 ___________________________

But today I'm realizing that

What I really want is 

More Time

___________________________

More time to be 

fully present 

with each of my kids, 

my husband,

my friends, coworkers and neighbors

To not have to settle for distracted and surface interactions

To never have to miss a performance or game

To be the mom that brings cookies to play practice and chaperones the class field trip to Chicago

Time to rake my mom's leaves and play tennis with my sister

To take long walks in the woods  

To have a clean house, laundry folded and put away

To be able to relax at the hairstylist

To leave work feeling completely accomplished

with every spreadsheet perfectly balanced

To be able to bring a treat to the neighbors 

or a meal to someone that needs support

To not have to hurry out the door 

To never run out of time to read the Bible and pray 

To have time to sew and knit

and let my creative juices flow

Time to prepare healthy lunches and dinners

and to exercise regularly and vigorously

____________________

Doesn't that sound lovely?

____________________

But that is not my life.

At least not right now

And there are a lot of things I'm not willing to give up

I know I can't do all of these thing perfectly

So I prioritize

There are lots of days with piles of laundry and dishes around the house

Who Cares?

I am not going to be quilting for a few more years

I can cope.

Sometimes fast food is all I can rustle up

and I pack lunches that are really lame
oh well

There are times I regret 

not asking the right questions

not listening carefully 

not bringing the cookies or the meal

And that is what is hard for me

It is easy to make a list of regrets when life is busy

____________________

But how can I complain?

Look at all of these beautiful things God has set in my path:

a great husband

three amazing kids

a big family full of love

friends

a warm home to keep clean

and food to serve

passionate, Christian coworkers

a job I really enjoy

a creative mind

a love for neighbors

a desire to serve God

So maybe there isn't time to do them all justice

I expect that I'll make mistakes 

and have some regrets

But for as long as I still have time left

I'm not going to stop trying to be 

everything 

God created me to be

I Love Soccer

My family has always been bent towards basketball.

When I was a preschooler, my oldest sister was playing college ball.  In sixth grade, I traveled across  Michigan while my brother's team went all the way to the MHSAA State Finals.  If we couldn't make it to the WMCHS games, we'd all quietly lay around the living room listening to them on the radio.  I spent summers at GHHS basketball camps and played on school teams through tenth grade.

I liked basketball.

In the spring of 1981, I was introduced to soccer.  What a fun game to play!  How proud I was when I scored my first goal against a full-grown "woman" goalie in our game against Fremont Christian --never mind the fact that she hadn't recovered from a previous shot and that mine was a super wimpy kick that even a lame goalie would normally be able to stop with her weak hand.  I loved to play and I loved to watch.  I remember spending many late evenings/early mornings in 1982 watching the World Cup being played in Spain.

I loved soccer.

I have this surreal memory of being on a co-ed travel team.  I think it was the summer after 8th grade.  I remember that I bought the sweetest pair of white Puma cleats at Hoby Bell.  We had awesome long sleeved uniform shirts.  It was me, two of my girl friends, and a dozen guys.  It seems that at every tournament we played we would hear, "Hey, they brought cheerleaders!"  That was infuriating--but we were just happy to be a part of the team. 

When I think about my love of soccer in the mid 1980's, I realize that I was mostly interested in soccer because I was interested in boys who were interested in soccer.  But I did love the game and would have continued to play through high school, except that at the time there wasn't a women's soccer team at my school.  In fact, there were very few women's high school teams in the area.  My junior year,  school clubs were starting to form.  I joined our club and played in the first game against Grand Haven High School under the lights.  What an amazing experience!  But then I came down with mononucleosis and my soccer career was officially over.

Fast forward 25 years...

I have 3 kids who are bent toward soccer.

I don't know how that happened.  I'm sure it had something to do with watching their cousins play.  Maybe it's because Joel loves the physical conditioning involved and encouraged them to play.  Or, maybe it's just because soccer is that great of a sport.  I do know that my son had more soccer skills when he was 10 than I did when I was 17. And even though my girls have hung up their soccer cleats, they still love the game.

I have spent many, many more hours as a soccer spectator than as a soccer player.

Since we are in the middle of the season, I've been thinking about soccer a lot lately.  So, I thought I would share some of my thoughts on why I love soccer:

1.  Soccer is global.  It isn't just an American past time.   It takes me from my little corner of the world and speaks a common language.  Soccer allows and encourages diversity.

2.  Fall and spring are great seasons to have a reason to be outside.  I will admit that during some rainy and cold (even snowy) games, I wish I were home sipping hot chocolate instead.   But I spend my days in an office with no windows, so sitting at soccer games with no housework or errands is a beautiful reason to pause and spend time in God's beautiful world. 

3.  Although it is a physical sport and there is potential for injury, I don't watch expecting injury like I might if I were watching a football game.  Soccer is a game full of finesse, not just brute force.

4.  Soccer is continuous.  No time-outs.  No huddles.  No heats.  No innings.  No offensive/defensive line changes.  Just 80 minutes of play with a short half time. 

5.  Soccer promotes overall fitness.  It is hard to be competitive at soccer if you are out of shape.  It is a great way to glorify the Creator of our amazing bodies.

6.  Good soccer players make difficult things seem simple.  When I watch the ball skills these players have, I am amazed.  Having spent a little time with a soccer ball, I know that it is anything but simple.  It takes hours and hours of touches on the ball.  Probably thousands and thousands of hours, actually.

7.  Soccer is a team sport.  Good teams play as a team.  That seems obvious, but I've watched plenty of  soccer with 1or 2 kids that think they need to pull the weight of the whole team.  Sometimes this results in goals and wins, but it isn't that much fun to watch.  When the whole team plays together, more gets done.  It becomes a beautiful game.

8.  My kids have had the privileged of having some amazing coaches.  Some have gone beyond being mere experts on the game to exhibit a love for Christ that is passionate and sincere.  These coaches love God more than the game and inspire their teams to play to bring glory to Him.  I thank God for these great role models!

9.  It is always fun to go to a game with friends and family.

10.  Most of all, I love soccer because I love to watch the people that I love play soccer.  What a privilege it is to watch them play a game they love and use skills they have worked hard to develop.

OK, so I suppose that I would love any sport that my kids choose to play.  But for now, I'm happy to say,

I love soccer

Triangles

One of my favorite subjects in college was Art History.  I was fascinated by the subject and by my enthusiastic professor.  One thing that sticks in my mind is the use of triangles in art.  It is a common technique artists use to bring stability into their piece.  It creates a strong base and also forces your eye travel around the picture.

When my three kids were all little, I needed to devise a plan to keep them all safely within my watch.  In my mind, they became my own ever shifting triangle. Whether we were at the beach, the mall, or walking down the street, my eye traveled around to keep track of all three points.

Now that they are older, I really don't need to keep that close an eye on them anymore.  They tell me where they are going, and my eye can't spot them once they drive around the first curve.  Most days I have one point on Grant Street, one in Muskegon, and the other in Grand Rapids.  My triangle is no longer in my view, but I still can visualize it!  Can you?

Last night, Paige came home from college for the first time.  With my two girls sleeping downstairs and Will upstairs, what bliss!  My triangle is back and the house feels balanced again.

Well, at least for the day.  Tomorrow the it's back to 3 kids in 3 cities.

But today I will simply enjoy! 

Here's a masterpiece that warms my heart...

Like Mona Lisa's smile, these expressions tell a story...
A concerned brother, so sorry about the stitches he inflicted via the swing of his golf club.
A forgiving sister, still sitting close to him.
The big sister watching over them all (and glad to not have a more active role in the whole situation).

See that triangle?  To me, that is a beautiful picture.

Before - Deuring - After

I am a big fan of blogging

I think it is a really great idea.

But I am not very good at blogging myself.

I'm just too busy living life to sit down and put thoughts to the keyboard.

I was inspired my sister in law's
before and after project post
and thought,
"I could do that!"

We've had our house for sale all summer with hopes to buy
a fixer-upper in town.

My big plan was to blog as we renovated.

It was a genius plan with an even more genius title--

Before -- Deuring -- After

But here is the problem...

we are still here

We haven't moved on 

No projects have been started yet

We're not even close to starting.

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But this week our family has been preparing
for a different move

and my heart has been thinking about another

Before -- Deuring -- After

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I have to say, we had a really great

Before

 I married the most patient, kind, loving guy on earth.

We enjoyed our before time together a lot!

It was filled with love, laughter, and joy.

Even in the middle of great sorrow

Our before was packed full of 

Love
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But then it was time for a whole new thing...
 We began a whole new family

A whole new way of being

a beautiful, fun, hard work way of living 

We moved into a new phase of life

---------------------------------

the Deuring

---------------------------------

Where love multiplied

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So I know that sending one child off to college 

doesn't put us in the After just yet

But it does make me stop to wonder...

I'm starting to listen for whispers of what

the after might look like

What will their careers be? 

Will they marry? 

Will we have grandchildren? 

Will they live near or far? 

Will they be happy?
Will they visit much?

So many things to wonder about.

So many things I could choose to worry about.

It would be so easy to simply sit and grieve the passing of time.

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The other day 

Mikaela was talking to my sister

who said, 

"Just be sure to stay close to home."

And Mikaela playfully asked,

"But what if God calls me to Turkey?"

Without pause, the answer,

"then Go!"

And that made me think

As much as I'd like to hand pick our  

After

I know that my parent joy is going

to feel empty 

until they are living the lives

that God created them for.

So I'm going to choose not to worry.

I'm going to choose to 

continue to enjoy the 

Deuring

I'm going to encourage and support and love their

Becoming

I'm going to trust

God 

(who loves them more deeply and more perfectly than I ever could)

knowing that He has a plan

for our After

that is more beautiful than any I could imagine
I'm going to choose to be grateful

and may all the praise be to Him

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No guilt in life, no fear in death, This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man, Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home, Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

I'm back!

GOOD NEWS!

I finally figured out how to sign in to my blog account again!

HAPPY DAY!